The Accidental Foreigner

I’ve spent a long time trying to get to the core of what I wanted to say….in print, on the web, in person…….. In person is so much easier - it’s in a conversation. A flow, even.

In print suggests that I already have a theme, a method, a known audience….and most importantly, it suggests that what I have to say is of value. But then again, the internet is awash in people with something to say.

But in reality, my theme is quite simple. What does in mean to be a foreigner and how can I maximize my full potential as a person who is co-existing in a world not native to me?


OK. Perhaps I’m wrong about the simplicity! But the theme of the outsider does excite me.

Anyway, let me explain a little about myself in relation to this theme.

I’ve lived in several places apart from my native Australia: 2 years in England, 1 year in Japan, 3 years in Austria and a total of 5 years in Germany - and still going!

For a long time, I felt that I put my life on hold. I mean, I was neither really here nor there. I hadn’t planned to spend so much time here, or even there, but then again, I hadn’t planned anything much really. I loved the flow of life and possibilities and opportunities. My motto was: if the door is open, have a look.

But without a plan, my values struggled to stay afloat. Living out of a suitcase and being the proud owner of few possessions, allowed me to remain outside of things. I felt quite proud of my unique, minimalist position. The problem was, however, that I also remained outside of the things that really mattered. Life simply went on, and I was still in the same floating place. Without a bigger vision of my life, I was just taking the next step and hoping that my values would keep me true to myself.

What are these values that I hold? Well, Ideas such as community, cross-cultural understanding and tolerance, environmental awareness and responsibility, justice, fairness and ‘havin a go’ were all tied into my unique value system somehow. But were values enough? Were my values going to bring to an ultimate goal (not that I had one, of course!)? How did my insider/outsider status fit into all of this?

What I discovered was the following:

There are cultural boundaries between nations and even within nations t (self explanatory I know, but deep down I’m a little hippie... peace brother peace!). Layered over and, in part, through these separate entities, a global culture provides a sense of sameness where ever we go. Superficially we can all live with this, and love to be enchanted by those things we find ‘different’, but dig deep and this sameness and enchantment can quickly vanish.

We all have different reasons for living and working in a culture that we weren’t born into and our experiences are equally as diverse.
The privilege of experiencing another culture (or more, if you have the opportunity) is irreplaceable. But what can start off as unique, exciting, other-ness, even our own unique exciting other-ness, can dim, fade or worse disappear down a hole of regret or sense of loss.

Somehow those attractive qualities we engaged with at the beginning start to become the irritants that can leave us feeling confused, frustrated and even lost.
It is at this point that we might try to re-engage our love or enthusiasm for the place we are now living in, or perhaps resign ourselves to that endless feeling of foreignness and find ourselves being critical.

What has inspired me are these:

The recognition of another option. A chance to re-engage with ourselves. To discover what really excites, enthuses and/or inspires us. To remove the ‘foreigner’ cloak and get to know who we really are.
No matter where we live, no matter who our friends or family are, what job we do or what plans we have for the weekend, we also embody unique talents, skills, gifts and abilities.

We are more than foreign. We are unique, powerful, adventurous and brave.

Máire Olsson
Life Coach